You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She made me pour olive oil on her.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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