dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
