I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
