She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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