with your own penis?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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