I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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