God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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