Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
