im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Text me some of your sweat
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
