Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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