There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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