she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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