i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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