We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
