Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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