it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
