He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
