Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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