Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
