Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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