oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
