Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
