I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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