who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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