She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
