My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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