Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
