I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize