You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
