My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize