apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
well you can't waste a boner
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize