Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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