You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
