so explain again why im purple
no
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is wine microwaveable?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
