Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
