You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
