somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You need a sexual gate keeper
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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