Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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(519): View more from Ontario

Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence

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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(281): View more from Texas

Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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(713): View more from Texas

He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.

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