How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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