you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
