omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
