hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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