I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
