so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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