drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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