party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
