Cold hands, warm shart.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
