it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
