Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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