My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
