that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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