I'm drive I can fine osifer
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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