We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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