You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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