Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
