I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
