My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
