i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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