so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You are the jesus of drinking
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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