WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
