we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
