I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We have started to decorate penises.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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