I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
