her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
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