yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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