Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize