My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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