My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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