That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
