I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You can't motorboat a personality
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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