I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize